Swine flu. Run for my life!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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