I forgot how hot balto sounded
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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