remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
