we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
