How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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