Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize