someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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