dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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