I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
