i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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