If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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