The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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