im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
