I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
