you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
