Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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