During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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