Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
