she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
