We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
