Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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