I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
