you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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