I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
