Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
