Christians are straight up FREAKS
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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