so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
