All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize