On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
