I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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