oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
