Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize