Fuck appropriateness.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
