Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
