it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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