Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
