It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
