my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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