I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
