clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
