I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize