I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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