Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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