are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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