when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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