booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize