I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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