Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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