so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My dick has a subreddit
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
