i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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