At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
