So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
