Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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