Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
