last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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