Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm getting married
To pizza
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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