My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
