I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize