Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
