i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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