We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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