I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
