Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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