and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
