I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
