I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
