so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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