I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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