remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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